I’M WORKING ON MY DIMMER SWITCH

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Exercise total for 5 days. 

500 Curls w/ 20 pound dumb bells

300 Shoulder raises/Chest presses w/ 10 pound dumb bells

900 Crunches

900 Leg lifts

300 Squats   

450 Back flexes

1:10 hour of yoga over 2 days

I had this entire thing written & trashed it all.  It was an unnecessary rant about anti-maskers.  What I will say about that is the following.  Nobody enjoys having to wear a mask.  I’m rarely out of the house during a month.  When I am in public I wear a mask not only for me but for everyone.  If you feel the need to rant about wearing a mask I’m OK with that…as long as you’re wearing a mask.  If you’re complaining about wearing a mask & not wearing one, I don’t need or want to hear it.  I personally don’t know anyone that falls into this category since they’re not worth my time right now.  Just please wear a mask, if you’re not, you’re a part of the problem.  You probably didn’t create the problem but you certainly aren’t helping solve it.  You are the weakest link & we’re all counting on you to do the right thing.

Saskatchewan got the news on Tuesday of restricted Covid protocol until December 17th 2020.  “Too little, too late” if you ask me.  Remember in the summer how so many people were just throwing caution & common sense to the wind along with their masks?  Well I hope they had fun then because family gatherings over the winter holidays are questionable right now.  Will I see my in-laws this December, will I see my immediate family this December, and will I see my grandparents this December?  Maybe, maybe, and probably not with Covid numbers skyrocketing everywhere.

I called it at the beginning of January.  2020 will be my year.  It’s been a stubborn, tough year & it’s not done yet.  I plan to be here long after 2020 though & this Covid stuff.  I’m ready to keep fighting if 2020 is going to keep ‘poking the bear’ (I’m the bear in this scenario).

I was scheduled to have an MRI at 10:45 pm tonight.  A 30 minute scan of a cyst in my back that has been there since my first MRI in 2008.  We talked to my doctor earlier this week.  I know I’m not invincible and I have no desire to go into a hospital, take off my mask & get shoved into a tube that’s just big enough for my shoulders to scrape the side during a pandemic for a very minor thing.  My doctor understood that & agreed.  I’ll be having my annual full MRI in May instead.  They’ll check out the long time cyst, my brain, & spine at that time.  A cyst won’t turn into a tumor.  I have a new doctor as of my last visit who wanted to learn more about it.

My life hasn’t changed at all because of Covid and I’m lucky in that way.  My life changed in 2008 because of cancer.  Initially it was REALLY rocky because of my incredible asshole reaction.  I’m far from perfect & always will be.  That doesn’t mean I’m just going to give up.  Those numbers that you probably skip by on Friday?  That’s my work over the course of a week, I’m proud of that & I’m not afraid of hard work.  Sure you might be thinking “Ah, it’s only 1-2 hours a day” & I’m not going to stop you from having that opinion.  You can call me whatever you want, anything goes at this point.  After I finish my exercise in the morning, I literally roll over on my side into the fetal position because I’m exhausted & sometimes sore.  I need to catch my breath & cool down.  After 2-5 minutes of rest I get up to do something around the house, get into the shower, eat, watch a little TV or play guitar.  I don’t have a slow speed.  If something needs to get done, I do it ASAP, why waste time thinking about it if I can figure out how to do it right away?

Now you might be thinking “Oh, big deal he said he’s playing guitar”.  It takes energy.  If I don’t have the energy, I play like crap and disappoint myself.  Because I beat myself up when I don’t do something well.  As I was telling my cousin over Facebook this earlier this week.  I don’t want to be good enough at everything, I want to be better than I was before I was put in a wheelchair.

Nobody can wave a magic wand & instantly make me better.  I’m the one that has to put in the work to be good enough and then better.  I’ve helped friends and family in the past and I’m helping where I can if needed or if I can be of assistance now.  I’m always patient with others.  If someone is helping me with something, I don’t want to waste their time.  I put a LOT of pressure on myself to do things right.

I had to ‘parent’ Brewster this week.  He won’t take his pills & he’s getting very stubborn about what he’ll eat.  I sat with him & had a little chat, I don’t think it worked?  “Look at me…nope…nope over here, look at me.  You need to eat your food & eat your treats.  If you can’t do that for us, this is what’s going to happen!  You have to be cute, furry, & cuddly for one week.  Now what’s it gonna be?  I’m not going to make you do both, you have to decide.  Will you eat your food now?  No?  OK, cute, furry & cuddly it is.  One week!  You’ve made your choice.”  Yes, I talk to my late 70s/early 80 year old dog like that.

I think everyone has an asshole gene in them.  It’s up to the individual as to when & how much they want it to shine.  I’m working on my dimmer switch for my asshole gene, it’s too bright.

Please wear a mask, and physically distance?  That’s EVERYONE’S job right now.

This week on guitar I haven’t been practicing songs.  The bulk of me playing guitar has been me applying and learning the DeLorean/Doryan/Dorian (actual spelling) mode, as well as memorizing the pentatonic scale.  That’s a LOT of music theory, my brain hurts from actually using whatever is left in there.  This will be a long time before I can say that I know it.  It sort of makes sense yet it’s hazy right now.

Pentatonic scale(s) is memorized as of Thursday.  Now I’m got the basics of the “Finding Doryan” or “DeLorean” mode as of Thursday night.  Today I’m just focusing on getting my pentatonic scale/shapes/pattern down & a song.  It’s as though I took a glance into Pandora’s Box and thought “I should make 1 thing solid before I dive into 5 other ones?”  My brain feels like mashed potatoes now?!?! 

Here I am at 11:20 pm after lying in bed thinking about scales too much that I came in to practice the 5 patterns in a pentatonic scale!  Geeking out much?  YEP!

“Nothing but Thieves” gave into high demand from fans to release their orchestral version of the song “Impossible” earlier this week.  When I purchase this album over the holidays, I intend to add this single to the album.  I don’t listen to singles or EPs under 5 songs.  I add them to albums.

“Dead Sara” released a single this week.  I hear a BIG “Nirvana” influence in their music.

“I feel good about the good things, & bad about the bad things”-David Grohl 

We’re all Global Citizens,

Chris 

“Spread love” –Ellen Degeneres 

2 responses to “I’M WORKING ON MY DIMMER SWITCH

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