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We’ve decided to hold off on trying to sell our condo next year.  Kim’s idea & I agreed.  Stay here for another year, save some money to pay off some debt (car payments, mortgage payments, etc.) & talk to an interior decorator.  Do some cheap upgrades around here for our taste.  Put the condo on the market in 2022, if it sells great & if not it’ll be upgraded to a brighter looking place.  We’ve already been throwing around a few little ideas.  Nothing will happen until we talk with a decorator.

For me this is a good thing & a bad thing.  There’s nothing on the market worth looking at right now & the gong show of selling a condo and finding the right place to move to within a month REALLY complicates things.  The act of actually moving seems like a pain as well.  The upside of moving is that we won’t be in a condo under the laws of everyone else.  We’d have a backyard that’s not an 8’ X 5’ balcony that I can’t access in my chair.  I’d like to turn my guitar amp up too, can’t do that in a condo either, I shut my little amplifier off at 8:30 pm so I don’t annoy our neighbors, headphones through my current amplifier just suck.  Generic digital distortion through headphones. 

There’s just not enough room here between our suite & storage unit either.  You can’t go into our storage unit without pulling out an 8’ high 3 shelve cart full of stuff in our 9’ X 5’ storage unit.  We go down there maybe 3 times a year?  Donate stuff, get seasonal stuff, or to get the odd thing that’s not in our suite.

Brewster’s doing fine he’s just getting old.  Pretty sure he’s deaf though.  He comes in here to check on me while I’m paying guitar & goes full circle in the room right past my amplifier.  He checks on me about 3 times a day & walks past my amplifier about once a week.  Usually around 3:00 pm he brings a toy with him, which means I should hurry up because he wants to play…..for 3 minutes.

I have a HUGE list of songs to learn!  I figure I’ll just hunker down learn 2 songs a week while going over some previously learned stuff to keep it fresh & in my mind.  I will take one day a week to play different chords with different notes out of a scale, while going through a few scales every day.  I’ll practice a song I know but haven’t worked on & a song that’s new to me…

I started working on these 2 on Sunday.  I say 2 songs this week & then grab my acoustic guitar & play this Foo Fighters song as far as I can remember it while watching a little TV and I’m trying to expand my 7 string catalogue learning more Trivium stuff.  I ended up learning part of the Trivium song Sunday night too.

My anxiety got the best of me when I posted the videos myself playing guitar.  Even when Kim filmed it she noticed that I immediately tense up when I know there’s a camera recording me.  I really wanted it to be great, & it usually is.  I wanted people to see that I’m not just buying a guitar for wall art, I use them & can play much better than on Friday’s videos.  We did 9 takes & I finally said “It sucks, but we should be doing something else.”  They should have been MUCH better & done in one take, not 9.  I apologize for that. 

I’ve never had anxiety since I left my therapies in 2012.  Obviously it’s not getting much better.  I don’t know if you were disappointed but I sure was!  I’m much better without being on video to the point that I enjoy it.  The videos weren’t enjoyable for me to make, see, or hear again.  I start thinking too much instead of just playing & feeling relaxed.

I think the reason I get so nervous now is that I REALLY dislike photos of myself.  If I was recording just audio, well that’s MUCH easier for me.  I really don’t like meeting new people in my current state.  I don’t want people to instantly feel sorry for me or doubt me immediately either.

Basically, I still feel awkward being physically handicapped.  I’m used to getting into a wheelchair & putting on my iPatch, but I still worry too much about what other people think about me.  I’d prefer if a person got to know me instead of likely judging me upon first impression.

I went into my computer/guitar room & just worked at 2 songs on Monday.  When I focus myself, the progress in 4 hours is amazing.  I relearned the Foo Fighters’ “Learn to fly” & learned the intro, chorus, & part of the main riff for Alter Bridge’s “Addicted to Pain”.  After that I went to the living room & grabbed my acoustic guitar to finally learn Foo Fighters’ “Razor”!  I impressed myself at how well it all went!  That’s work & a lot of fun for me, filming any song…not so much.  I took a 2 hour pause for supper & practiced 3 songs, “Learn to fly”, “Addicted to Pain”, & “Razor” for 1:30 hours.  Kim doesn’t like it when I watch TV & play my acoustic at the same time.

People are worried about putting on mask every day for ½ a year or more.  I’ve been getting into a wheelchair and putting on an eye patch every day since 2008?  So, I’ve already increased stuff I don’t like but I know are a necessity.  I wear a mask on top of that, WHY?  Because it really isn’t a big deal to show a little bit of respect for others & not be so vain.

Just wear a mask and the world would be much more pleasant & Covid numbers likely wouldn’t be as high as they are right now.  As far as I’m concerned the border between Canada & the USA should stay closed until this virus thing is over!  Trump plans to “…open the border soon.”  Trudeau wants to extend the closure until US numbers for the virus are under control.  People in public not wearing a mask is disappointing & incredibly rude to the rest of us that wear a mask.  Put on a mask, please stay home, or at least 12’ away from me in public.

I forgot to mention “The Struts” new album “Strange Days” was released on Friday, October 16th.

“Nothing but Thieves” will release their new album “Moral Panic” on Friday, October 23rd.

“I feel good about the good things, & bad about the bad things”-David Eric Grohl    

We’re all Global Citizens,


“Spread Love”-Ellen Degeneres

P.S.  I didn’t sleep well last night.  I got up at 6:45 am & did my exercises.  Early to bed tonight.  Got up & YAY a skiff of snow!  I much prefer winter than summer!  SHORTS WEATHER!

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