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Do you have a question about stage 4 brain cancer?  Ask if you do!

I fell asleep to “In Flames” the album “I, The Mask”

I exercised to “Chromeo” two albums on shuffle.

5 day exercise total; 400 pushups, 600 leg lifts, 300 crunches, 200 tricep lifts, 450  squats, 300 back flexes.

The exercise is horrible until I get my butt in gear & get it done & out of the way, then I feel good & feel I’ve accomplished something.  It’s not something physical I can really show anyone though.

EX: My mother didn’t really understand what my job was.  I told her I was a printing press operator, she still didn’t fully understand.  I took her the first sheet of paper you set up & see how far off the colour is, & how far I needed to get the metal plates to move so it all lined up.  Then I took her a final sheet of paper from the same job once it was done & explained what I had to do to get it that way.

I worked at a console to the press.  I could manipulate each of the 4 or 5 colours from there to move them or allow the right amount of colour to a certain area.  Once I was done a job, I had something tangible/physical/material to look at & think to myself “Hey, I helped make that.”

I can’t really show what I do now.  I’m pretty tired for the rest of the day, I sit on the couch & watch some TV until I feel the motivation to shower or until I just can’t stand being sweaty & smelly.  I certainly don’t want to do anymore exercise other than some walking when Kim gets home to help me.

My cousin’s in town!  Went to my parents’ place on Tuesday afternoon.  A game, Chinese food for supper (wasn’t even oily), some TV, & left with my belated birthday gift…………..wait for it……………………oatmeal chocolate chip cookies & the blu-rays I lent to my cousins.  My mom & cousin baked them on Monday for me.  My grandmother’s “recipe”.  “Add a little more of this & an extra dash of this until the dough feels right”- Grandma.  My grandparents met each other while she was working as a baker at a bakery & he was delivering from the bakery.

I had a HORRIBLE day on Thursday.  A pity party for one, I just sobbed for a while & asked myself “When will this cancer crap all end?”  I’m tired & stressed & Kim is too.  It feels like a continual pile of bull**** being dumped on us that we can’t get out of, so we never take an extended break from what we do.  I exercise & she busts her butt working while also taking an evening class that’s once a week immediately after work.

I’m glad I survived cancer, but I’m INCREDIBLY sick of the nonsense & crap that comes with it after in my & Kim’s situation.  I exercise 5 days a week & when the f*** does that help.  I’m not going to chase a dream that’s unrealistic for the rest of my life.  To say this is getting old is an understatement!  I want the pill that Robin Williams wanted, called “F*** it all”.  I’m not about to give up, but I’ll never be whatever the hell “normal” is!  If it’s coming, it’s really f***ing slow.  I was EXTREMELY frustrated!  This is nobody’s fault, but I always feel like it’s mine, ALWAYS!

I think God & Satan got together & said “Hey, let’s mess with the guy who has manic depression.  It’ll be fun!”  I have a better idea, how about you don’t?


10 bands that influenced me & made me want to sing & play guitar.  U2, Barenaked Ladies, I Mother Earth, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Big Wreck, The Watchmen, Matthew Good Band, Tool, Led Zeppelin, & Queen.  Many more!

Yes I’m well aware that is 11 bands but I had to get Led Zeppelin in there.

I could never play fast, some of these are guitar influences, and the others are voice influences.



FANTASTIC album somewhat of a return to the earlier albums.  Still hardcore fans say it’s more of a rock album & complain about this album.  I think they want “In Flames” to just make duplicates of “The Jester Race”, not going to happen!  That album was released in 1997, I think it’s time the complaining fans jump ship if that’s what they want?

I didn’t get into “In Flames” until I saw them live in 2006?  The final tour for the traveling metal 3-4 hour extravaganza “Sounds of the Underground” tour in Saskatoon.

Yes, their last 2 releases were quite tame “Siren Charms” 2014 & “Battles” 2016 were pretty mellow as far as metal albums go, I really like “Siren Charms” though.

This new album “I, The Mask” is great from the Swedish melodic death metal group.  The first half is more like their old stuff & the second half is mellower.  Here are a few of my favourite songs from the album….




The more you share this, the more readers I get.  No, I’m not profiting from this in any way.  I can’t tell who’s reading this but thank you!

Why did this become a music blog?  “Because music is a BIG @#!$%^*&( DEAL”-Dave Grohl

“I feel good about the good things, & bad about the bad things”-Dave Grohl

“Learn from your mistakes & don’t repeat them”-Chris

Stay safe out there,


“Be kind to one another”-Ellen Degeneres         


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