Friday, February 21st 2014
Kim hadn’t seen it yet so we watched it together! Anybody can be a moron/bully or a decent person if they choose to, that’s a choice, not something anyone is born with, like a person’s sexuality is not a choice! As I’ve said before, and I really just want to drive this home, the second I started riding my bicycle to elementary school I was bullied (verbally) everyday I came home. Nobody told me to hang myself, nobody ever said they’d bring a knife the next day to kill me. My bullies have apologized the rest of them I want nothing to do with ever again. Even as adults people can be morons. I don’t know anyone personally that’s a moron, but I know they’re out there somewhere.
In grade 2 I think it was? That’s when 2 older kids from Elsie Dorsey elementary school started harassing me when I’d go home after school. I figured it would just stop once my parents moved away from that apartment and I went to high school. It didn’t.
I had my friends in high school, supposedly to be the best years of my life….NOT. I didn’t have my friends beside me in every class. Some classes I had to sit by some jerks who would pick on me, ask for the answers on a test. You treat me like crap then ask me to give you answers? That wasn’t going to happen! So I got to be picked on more & more for that.
I couldn’t get out of high school fast enough. I met lots of great people there, and a group of idiots that would harass me everyday. I didn’t do anything to provoke them, but they singled me out. Those who have apologized, THANK YOU! Those who I want nothing to do with GO AWAY AND STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I purposely didn’t invite you to read this and you aren’t a friend and probably never were or will be a friend of mine. Life got much better after high school. I had zero intention of going to the 10 year reunion and didn’t go since I was in the hospital battling cancer. There were people there I never wanted to see again.
University and SIAST, things were a total 180 for me. I stuck with my friends and was fine from there on out. NOBODY bullied me again, ever. I was the bully coming out of brain cancer I was saying terrible things publically and privately, email and facebook can be used like a cell phone. With the touch of a button on facebook I can tell everyone to take flying leap off a cliff and see what happens? I came out of cancer thinking only about myself and not taking others feelings into consideration. I was cyber bullying good people, even family members and that was flat out wrong and stupid of me and I’m as sorry as I can be. Sometimes it just feels like I should just go completely “…underneath the radar…” and not bother anyone. I’m human I have my good days & bad days.
Today I want to throw in the towel and give up. I don’t see any improvement at all exercising 4 or 5 days a week. I say to myself everyday “Ah, I tried anyways”. Like recording music on software, “Ah, close enough, it can be fixed in seconds”.
I’m not a charity story and I have no intention of acting like one. Monday’s a new day and I’ll break up my routine in two so I have more energy to do it all, just to change things up somewhat! I don’t feel fantastic after exercising! I feel terrible, tired and thirsty. So for me it’s a necessary evil, there’s not a word that describes how much I loathe/hate/despise that part of the day. My exercise mat is beside our TV during the week. Mocking me as I sit on the couch watching TV or a blu-ray. So Monday I need to kick myself in the butt and just get to it!
Now it’s Saturday, February 22nd 2014
What happened this morning? I woke up either a bit before 7am or right at 7am. Listened to 3 full albums on my iPod, then Kim woke up. I finally got out of bed and went to the washroom. All was fine until I moved from my grab bar to the door knob to turn around to the sink. My dressing on my thumb will come off tonight. My dressing for my thumb was caught on the door handle. I tried to fix it then fell, I have a scar on my arm and hit my head pretty good on the door. My head has a red spot on it that I can say will develop into a goose egg. I’m fine, it happens. It’s not the first time and I don’t think it will be the last time.
Yesterday, I wasn’t busy at all. I was discouraged and didn’t want to do anything I layed on the couch and listened to my metal music until Kim got home. Then we watched ellen from Thursday and Friday, then the “Bully” documentary. Next blog will go back to music reviews about the stuff I like.
My pity party is over, yesterday was just a bad day. I’m human it happens!
“Don’t judge anyone until you’ve been in their shoes”
“Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life. You’ve just got to get there”
“Don’t try to please everyone, it CAN’T happen”
“Learn something from your mistakes and don’t do them again”
“I feel good about the good things and bad about the bad things”-David Eric Grohl
“Hubby Boo Boo” aka “Butthead” aka Christopher
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