Thursday, June 27th
SURPRISE! I can’t stop writing?!
It’s 6:15am, got up, got dressed, found Brewster sleeping in a different room, brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth, washed my face and had breakfast. I woke up at 4:30am I don’t know why?
I survived, YIPEE now, it’s all done with on December 31st 2013? So on January 1st I’ll magically be able to walk, stand and not have double vision, right? Not the case as much as I’d like it to be! My assumption is that I’ll still be in my wheelchair with a patch over 1 eye. Possibly for the rest of my life, oh well. I’m not just going to roll over and give up, I wasn’t raised that way! Both times my parents raised me, as a child and now having survived brain cancer, 3 brain surgeries in February 2008, the first one an emergency surgery, waiting for the surgeon to finish another surgery I’m told.
What did I leave with? A bad attitude. I turned into a total moron. Even my doctor apologized to me when I hit what I thought was rock bottom. He said he should have seen this coming. The second he said that I replied “NO”, I didn’t want ANYONE to know!
Yes, I’m not perfect? I have made mistakes my entire life, I assume everyone has. While in the WRC I was “addicted” to one medication and in the medical definition I was addicted to another. I told my doctor that I thought I was addicted to hydromorphone ( 5x the strength off morphine), I was allowed to take it once an hour, and I did. Of course I wasn’t in pain. I was flat out lying to Kim for a month and had her inject me with it every hour. It just relaxed me to the point my uncontrollable twitch in my leg stopped, it’s gone now. It was supposed to make you drowsy, didn’t for me! Apparently this is not considered the medical definition of addicted, methadone is.
I was on methadone for a long time, more than 2 or 3 years, on quite a high dosage of it for pain. While weening off of it, I became very ill and more and more depressed. We stayed home for a month or more. Didn’t go in for any therapy. I was doing well in my therapies, all of my therapists told me. I was the only candidate for some special program they had not bothered doing the paper work for. They basically put me on this program without doing the paper work. I think it was just more therapy than anyone else? Two of my therapists were asking themselves “What happened to Chris?”.
I was at home eating nothing but yogurt. It was all my stomach could take at the time. Everyday for the entire day I would feel like I was on the verge of throwing up, weening off of methadone. That’s what Jason Mewes of Jay and Silent Bob was on while he was trying to get sober and off of heroin. It’s healthier for you but harder to quit than heroin. My doctor told me I was the first person he had ever managed to get off of that much methadone, a pain killer.
This may be repeated from earlier in this link or in the first link to my blog?
“There’s always someone else having a worse day than you or I”
“Butthead” aka Christopher
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